Samos Stories

Samos Stories: Der står to lys på et bord

Der står to lys på et bord. Til bords sidder to kvinder og et par anretninger. Jeg vil gætte på noget fisk/skaldyr tam tam. Yderligere er selskabet flankeret af et par tomme flasker Cola Zero og den hvide syre hældt på stilk – naturligvis.

Jep. Jeg tænkte det nok. Det er en Sancerre.

Skål” hvisker blondinen højt, mens hun rejser glasset.

Den rødhårede skåler med – kort efter at hun har inspiceret sit tandkød med smørkniven. Efter endt klinke-klanke retter begge kvinder øjnene mod Øresund.

Hvilken udsigt…

Jeg selv, spørger du? Hvad fanden laver jeg der for næsen af denne velsignede udsigt? Tjoo. Jeg kom bare forbi. Nu danderer jeg den henslængt ved nabobordet. Drikker fa’øl. Ryger cigaretter. Og lader som om, at jeg kigger på min telefon.

Ej, okay. Jeg kigger også på min telefon. Og optager.

25 minutter senere

De to kvinder er midt i 40’erne – vil jeg skyde på. De griner, fniser, tanter og fjaser. Slår sig på låret og peger derhen, herhen, ud i horisonten – igen og igen. Med tilfredshed i sjælen indånder de begge nærhedens luft, mens de høje, mørke, mandlige bejlere vandrer forbi, smiler sødt og bliver afvist – igen og igen.

Selvom kalenderen dikterer oktober måned er der er noget i luften. En brise fra de varme lande? Måske. End ikke et tæppe i skødet er nødvendigt for den rødhårede og blondinen. Uden jeg aner uråd, vil dette varme strejf fra højre snart føles mere som en russisk vinter end en indisk sommer.

Nå, for satan. Nu sker der noget. Et par ungersvende, der begge fylder 40 somre til juli, har installeret sine joggingbusker, der ligner gaberdine bukser, foran de to kvinder, og, uheldigvis, lige ved siden af mig. Den ene står med en flaske hvid nektar i hver hånd, mens den anden i armfægtende vendinger forsøger at komme tættere blondinen og den rådhåredes emotionelle G-punkt.

For helvede, drenge! Enten sidder I jer ned. Eller også tager I hjem for i dag.

Endelig. Kort tid efter bliver de to herrer, som andre bejlere, sendt tilbage hvor de kom fra. Jeg kan roligt bestille en øl mere.

Tjener. Ka’ jeg få én mere.” forlanger jeg i en rolig tone, mens jeg sliber ørespidserne en ekstra gang.

22 minutter senere

I mellemtiden har den ene kvinde forladt selskabet. Hun har pt. været væk i 13 minutter. Det er hende den rødhårede. Mens har den lyshåret siddet og spillet på sin iPhone. Og jeg kan ikke helt anskueliggøre, om det er Messenger eller Farm Heroes hun spiller på? Jeg har i hvert fald besluttet mig at bestille en øl mere.

10 minutter senere

Den rødhåredes sylespidse stilletter kan høres komme nærmere og nærmere, inden hun lander ved bordet med et pladask af bandeord, røde kinder og svovl i øjnene. Blondinen smider sin telefon i ét væk og kigger spørgende:

Jamen du godeste. Hvad er der dog galt?” som spillede hun en ledende birolle i Far Til Fire.

57 minutter senere

Jeg har forladt restauranten. Jeg har forladt det to mand dybe kvindelige selskab. Jeg havde hørt nok for i dag. Jeg var ikke længere tørstig. Ikke længere sulten. Ikke længere beruset.

Hov hov hov. Vent lige…” tænker den kære læser sikkert. Hvad skete der så på de 57 minutter? Hvorfor springer vi hele tiden i tiden?

Okay, kære læser. Fint nok. Her får I referatet af de 57 minutter.

Referatet af de 57 minutter

Den rødhårede havde tydeligvis et problem der var større end bare lort på skoen eller A’frika. Det kunne selv opvaskeren konstatere. Der blev banket i bordet. Der blev stampet i gulvet. Der blev sendt “øjne” mod telefonen.

Det vidste sig, at den rødhåredes arbejdsplads netop var ramt af en #Metoo sag. Denne sag var hverken i afdelingen ”glad-dreng-blik”, ”klap i numsen” eller ”grab em’ by the pussy”. Her var tale om en god gammeldags vikingevoldtægt. Vi snakker blodsæd udover hele gulvet samt bide- og kradsemærker i dør, væg og loft.

Hvem var blevet voldtaget? Sekretæren. Hvem havde voldtaget? Det svar kom en anelse lavmælt, men jeg hørte det som om, at han var ordfører. Den rødhårede ville ikke gå yderligere i detaljer. Det var tydeligt. Selv ikke overfor blondinen.

Hvad gør vi? Eller… Hvad gør jeg? Hvad skal der ske?” spurgte den rødhårede, selv om både hende og blondinen allerede vidste, hvad der skulle ske.

Den røde:Vi kan ikke have sådan en sag. Det kan ikke komme frem. Det går ikke?

Blondinen:Klart.

Den Røde:Jeg mener. Vores vælgere!? De gider ikke høre på sådan noget.

Blondinen:Enig. Det skal glemmes. Nej. Sludder. Gemmes.”

Den røde:De vil heller ikke tro på det. Og i øvrigt er det en glidebane. VI SKAL HOLDE DET INTERNT. Det er kun os to der ved det. Én sag er én for mange. Det ved du.

Blondinen:Det her ER den bedste løsning. Det er den eneste beslutning i bogen.

57 minutter, samt utallige SMS’er og opkald, tog det, før der lagt endeligt låg på på den store boblende gryde.

Vi gør det rigtige. Eller… Jeg gør det rigtige.” konstaterede den rødhårede ubestemt bestemt og drak endnu et slurk af sin hvide stilk.

Blondinen kiggede på den rødhårede. ”Du gør det rigtige.

I dag

I dag, et par uger efter, kan jeg konstatere. Sekretæren sagde ikke noget. Ordføren sagde ikke noget. Den rødhårede sagde ikke noget. Blondinen sagde ikke noget – indtil videre.

Der er jo snart valg…

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